I must have angered the cycling gods

I have barely been riding this month, a combination of birthday celebrations, prior commitments, too much work and too much drinking have all stopped me.

I got away for a quick ride when I was up in the Hunter Valley last week, but it wasn't much.

I had a busy day today, but got free at around 3.00pm, so decided to blow the cobwebs out with a quick hitout around my old favourite four-bridge route.

This consists of leaving Neutral Bay, riding over the Harbour Bridge, over the pedestrian bridge at Darling Harbour, over the Anazac Bridge, up to Leichart, down around the Bay run and then back over the Iron Cove bridge, back over Anzac, Darling Harbour, Harbour Bridge etc.

If you count the little pedestrian bridge on the Balmain side of the Anzac and a couple of little bridges over the canal at the start of the bay run it might be seven or eight, but that would just be nitpicking.

Anyhoo, I grabbed my bike, geared up and hit the road. It was an absolute pealer of an afternoon for a ride, clear skies, sun shining, temp would have been mid teens or higher - just right for long knicks and a t-shirt.

To make things better, instead of feeling rusty my legs felt strong. I was climbing out of the saddle, sprinting on the flats, all was good.

My aim was to get home in time to time-slip the Swans v Bulldogs game and still be done for dinner by 6.

The first sign that this wasn't going to happen was when I flatted just after the bridge at Darling Harbour. No biggy, I have have a tube, a patch kit and two CO2 cartridges with me, nothing I can't handle. As a bonus, it is the front, so no messing with the chain. I whip the tyre off, pull the tube out, put the new one in. The only downside is that I find my tube has a short valve on it, but a few mm are poking out of my new deeper rims. It is enough to fire in the gas and I am back up and running within 10 minutes.

The ride continues in fine fashion, until climbing (barely) just after the Iron Cove bridge I hear the tell tale ping of a spoke going on my newish supposedly bombproof rear wheel. This is a much bigger annoyance, but I manage to open the rear brakes right up, crank a little pressure onto the surrounding spokes and ride on without anything rubbing. Having minimal rear brakes is annoying, but there are no big descents, no problem.

It is the third breakdown that really gets to me. Coming up the steep little footpath to cross over the footbridge over the Cahill at Observatory Hill, I feel my front is all over the place - flat again! I don't know if it was a slow leak, another puncture or something was still in the tyre, all I know is that it is flat.

I figure I will break out the puncture kit, fix it up and limp home - I only have 3-4km to go over the harbour bridge and back to Neutral Bay.

Tube comes out - can't find a puncture anywhere. I figure it must be a slow leak, so I put the tube back in, screw my last CO2 into the dispenser and press the trigger.

All I get is a pansy little "sssshhh". I try again - same result. No matter what I do, I can't get the gas to dispense. I try everything I can until I decide I will have to try to back off the screw and screw it in again - maybe it hasn't punctured the tube properly.

As soon as I move it a fraction, the entire contents come spewing out, and I am left with a very frosty CO2 cart and a flat tyre.

About now I drop my bundle. It is getting dark, noone is riding this route at this time of day on a Sunday and I am screwed if I am walking home in my cleats, let alone walking anywhere that I could hail a cab. Plus, only Silver Service cabs fit my bike without pulling it absolutely to pieces, I have learnt this from experience.

Luckily, when I call my wife to vent she jumps in the car and comes and picks me up, but it wasn't exactly the victorious return to riding it should have been. I now have to find the cause of my flat AND take back my broken rear AGAIN to get it sorted, and I am positive it will just start throwing spokes every time I look at it just like happened with my old wheel.

But shit happens, maybe if I had have ridden every week like I should the cycling gods wouldn't be pissed at me and I would have had a sweet ride.

I guess I should carry a compact pump, but I hate having shit on my bike, a couple of gas carts and a repair kit has always been fine before. Maybe now I will just take one more gas.....